A Call to Action: Inspire by the Star Student

My first grader is the Star Student at school this week. I honestly don't remember if this existed when I was a kid. I vividly remember donning a paper crown and handing out cupcakes to friends on my birthday. I especially remember making sure my mom made extra so I could walk around the whole school to deliver them to teachers in other classes. Hey, I've never been one to shy away from the opportunity to create smiles or get extra birthday wishes. I freaking love my birthday! Maybe this crowning moment of each school year is where that love developed but that's for a therapist to uncover.

At my daughter's school, they take time out of every day in this school week to explore and appreciate what makes her so uniquely her. From a poster about her favorite things to pics of friends and family and even her favorite book and stuffed animal, she gets to share it all. But Friday? Friday is the best part. Friday is Celebrate YOU Day (aka Bucket Filler Friday)!

On this glorious day, every student and teacher in my daughter's class take turns sharing their favorite things about her and filling her bucket. DID YOU READ THAT???? On this one shining, beautiful day, every single person that she shares space with (and has likely already started taking for granted bc that's what humans do) will actually express their favorite thing about her! Oh hell yes! This trumps every cupcake I've ever delivered to every rando teacher at St. Cyril's - and my mom made baked those bad boys into ice cream cones instead of wrappers!

I'm sure most people are aware of this "bucket filling" term but I'll embellish to be sure. See, there's been a huge (and much needed) shift in the education world to nurture mental and emotional wellbeing as well as foster kindness and social responsibility. Enter Carol McCloud's 2016 Have You Filled a Bucket Today? A Guide to Daily Happiness for Kids. In it, McCloud uses this bucket filling or dipping metaphor to teach that kindness begets kindness and ultimately makes the world a better place. Essentially, you do something kind, you fill someone's bucket with good qi (chi). You do something unkind, you dip their bucket spilling their good qi. The even bigger take away is, when you fill a bucket, you also fill your own bucket.

Back to Celebrate YOU Day. Can you imagine being the recipient of such beautiful testaments? Sign me up!! I mean, let's be honest. In general, people don't go around proclaiming the positives they see in others. I mean, when's the last time you heard someone say "I really like the way you pleasantly ring up my groceries without forcing mundane and idle chit-chat" or "you did a really great job pulling into that tight parking spot?" You don't. The world is much quicker to speak up about the miserable or the things that piss them off. Park too close to someone or take too long in line and you'll quickly hear a whole lot about it! Truth is we keep the positives to ourselves and let alllllll the negative fly freely. Stings right? Know what stings more? We keep the positives from those closest to us as well.

It's one thing to not tell the cashier that she's surprisingly pleasant. It's altogether different to not tell your partner that you know in your bones that they are ALWAYS there for you. Or to not tell your parents that, even though they were never perfect, you ALWAYS felt unconditionally loved. Sure, when I put it in writing, the defenses come out. You want to say "Bullshit! They know I feel those things!" And, hey, maybe they do. Truly, I hope they do. But how can you ever be sure if you don't actually say it to them? There's often a huge discrepancy between what we think someone thinks about us and what they actually think about us.

So, this week, I'd like to propose an experiment. A challenge even.

Tell them. Whether they know or not, tell them. Whether you THINK they know or not, tell them. Make a plan and start TELLING THEM your favorite things about them. Maybe you pick one day and say something to fill the bucket of every person with whom you come in contact. Maybe you set a goal to tell one person a day what you think is the best thing about them. Or maybe you make a list of those you hold dearest and finally get bold enough to speak from the heart. It doesn't all need to be deep and tear-jerking. It could be as simple as telling that one lady who walks her dog by your house that she has the kindest eyes. Just do it. Start INTENTIONALLY filling buckets.

I'll start....

Todd - you're love and support are limitless and without end. I know without question that you are always there for me. And you really do make me laugh like no one else in this world!

G - there is no one in this world I would rather talk to.

M - you are a force of nature full of passion and raw emotion. You are a born leader who will take this world to a height it's never known.

Mom & Dad - I really did always feel unconditionally loved.

Steve - turns out, you're one of my best friends. Didn't see that coming. I love you.

Kathy - I've looked up to you since we were so young. I love you for always being 100% authentically you.

Sharon & Mark - I have mad respect for the way you love each other and your beautiful family.

Harry - your dedication to your family is unparalleled. You are so loving and kind and overly generous with your time. You really do have the best hair in the family.

Bean - your smile is warm and comforting and your laugh just makes me happy! Your love for your children is tangible.

Lauren - you really are light and love and laughter!

Duke - you honor your own timing and I find that so admirable. Plus, you're super fun to walk all of Boston with!

Nick & Tom - you two will forever hold such a sacred space in my heart. You are the reason I wanted to be a mom.

Bernie & D - you two are so different but you both are so genuine. You love my brothers for exactly who they are and have embraced the wild that is this huge family.

Jim - I know we joke but I really do think you are a once in a lifetime person!

Tricia - being in your presence feels a lot like yoga to me. You fill me with calm and peace and love.

Ce & Iz - you are the reason I have hope for our future.

Lennon - you have a strength and beauty in you that is unmatched.

Sierra & Meghan - I am and always will be in awe of unwavering and majestic women you've become.